where have I been?

Hi lovelies.

It's been a long, long time since my last post - I know.

Last time I posted I was in the midst of training for the SeaWheeze half. I'd set an ambitious goal for myself and was laser focused on achieving it.

And then...

We had a house fire.

Overall we were extremely lucky. Most of our belongings were undamaged, just in need of a good airing out. We were able to find a new house to rent the next day and move in a week later. The support from our friends and family, and the community was overwhelming. I have never felt so loved.

It's taken some time to settle into our new place. They even have a term for it. Hypervigilance. It's exactly what it sounds like.

There were a lot of lessons for me in dealing with the aftermath.

I learned to communicate my needs. People are happy and eager to help - all I had to do was ask.

I've gotten really good at setting boundaries and not worry about what anyone else was thinking about me.

I learned to delegate and not micro manage. Seriously, let it go. Everything will be fine.

You know how people always ask the three things you'd take to a desert island? Well, now I can answer that question. The first things I grabbed out of the house were my library books, yoga mat, running gear, and a kombucha scoby.

It's been 4 months since the fire. I am so ready to shift my focus back to my goals. I want some company though. Anyone need an accountability buddy? Find me on instagram :)

#NoBuyJune update

Loving #NoBuyJune so far - because it really is challenging! It's forced me to realised how many of my usual purchases are actually based on impulse and spend some time reflecting on my financial situation.

Usually my  thought process goes something like this...

Saw a maxi dress online - wannit! 

Read a fashion post about summer must haves - I could really use a breezy summer vest. 

Half price workout tanks? wannit! I could always use more workout tanks.

Oh, and all I want to wear is lulu's power y bra. I have a couple in crazy colours but I could use some totally basic ones. 

and my skin could really benefit from a charcoal mask... all this working out is starting to plug up my pores. 

Some of these things are legitimate items I need but most of them I can make do with what I already have. Normally I don't pass up a good deal. I'm generally careful with my money and try to get the best value. Although sales save me money they can sometimes cause a cash flow issue...

I've been reflecting on my financial situation, where I am and where I want to be. Lately I've been feeling less than... I could be happier if only I had x... like I'm being consumed by the desire to consume.

For years I've gone without spending much on my home or my wardrobe. I dunno - it just all seems so materialistic. Does what I wear really matter? Some of this comes from my roots in environmentalism. But it also stems from low self esteem. You have to have a good self image to want to get up and treat yourself well. And lets face it, when you look good you feel good. And that matters.

In January I set out a list of goals for this year. Investing in myself and my home are high on my list of priorities.  So is paying off my debt. Needless to say, this has caused a bit of internal conflict. Looking back I can see I never set any parameters for paying off my debt or how much I could afford to spend on myself each month. #NoBuyJune has made me realise I need to not only budget money for paying off debt but also set some aside so I can jump on those sales when they come up.

Maxi dress - I'm watching you!

Make sure you check out  the lovely Emily @ExcellentTiming and her post about how #NoBuyJune is no cake walk.

week 3 - #SeaWheeze training recap + links

Did you see Emily (ExcellentTiming) and I are challenging ourselves to #JuneNoBuy? Read her post here. See my post here.

I'm so happy SarahFit shared the green state of mind juice. It's really a high protein smoothie with no protein powder! In the spirit of #JuneNoBuy I'm using up what I have in my cupboards before I run to the store to restock. I've run out of protein powder and my pre-JuneNoBuy order won't arrive for another week or so. Buying those single serving packets at the store doubles the cost. I've already got a stock of flax and chia seeds on hand.

Oh, but I really want this cross legged chair...

The Time. I Decided. Enough. Is F-ing Enough. -> everything she said. I've stopped buying Oxygen mag because of the elitist and exclusive message. Well, that and the lack of content. I want to be a woman who supports other women. The fact that we workout in different modalities or wear different clothes shouldn't matter. 

Electrolyte Drinks for Athletes -> I made the watermelon zinger for my post long run recovery drink.

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Don't wait until your at your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take towards reaching that goal. 

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Weekly Miles: 19 17
#100bySummer: 86

Monday - REST (2 easy miles)
Tuesday - 2 easy miles (45 min xtrain @140-150bpm + abs)
Wednesday - 5 mile tempo run
Thursday - REST (2 easy miles)
Friday - REST
Saturday - 10 miles
Sunday - 20min solo vinyasa

I mentioned last week how I've been struggling. I've been putting things off. I've been more tired than usual. I swear it feels like I've been PMSing for a month. Ugg. Thursday I totally intended on getting in my 2 miles - and then I fell asleep on the couch.

Monday was a write-off. Spent the day in bed with a 24hr bug. Luckily it was only 24hrs.

Tempo runs keep getting better. I'm still taking walking breaks but they're getting less frequent. Mentally I'm getting stronger.

My long run was pretty eventful. A lot of firsts. Tried out my new hydration belt. Spent the first mile fussing with it but after that we settled in. The water bottle however, sucks. It has a nipple - which is usually a feature I like in a water bottle. No seriously.  But this one takes so much suction to get a little sip. Maybe it's defective. I had to stop every time I wanted to take a sip.

Tried vega gels. They didn't upset me stomach and I like the flavours. This is the first time I've tried gels so I have nothing to compare them to, but no complaints either.

Ate a bug.

Found 5 new water fountains! I never noticed them before. Now I know the location of ~15.

Ran through a parade route! Three times. Stressful. I tried to bypass it but that didn't work out so well.

The runner's high just didn't happen for me this time. Maybe it's because I stopped so often? I was a total space cadet the rest of the day though.

Week 4 goals

I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing. Rolling with what life throws at me. Yeah, I usually don't manage to fit in all my workouts or get to everything on my list. But they're both pretty packed! Long runs and tempos are a priority that I've never skipped. If I have the energy for more, I'll do more. This is about getting to know when I can push things and when to lay off. The last few weeks have been a time to take it a bit easier. I'm learning to listen to my body. Skipping a workout here or there is a way better alternative to burnout. I'm in this for the long haul.

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image via

chipping away at bad habits

A bad habit is one destructive to my goal.

I've set this goal for myself of running a sub-2hr SeaWheeze. Everyone says that your first half should just be about finishing - but that doesn't feel like enough. 

Lately I've blown off a couple mid week short easy runs. I've stopped prepping my lunch / cleaning the kitchen the night before, telling myself I'll do it in the morning it's more important to go to sleep now. Even still, I've been getting into bed after 10pm. Getting up with the sun is not going to happen. I've been neglecting abs / yoga using my neck as an excuse.

These bad habits are part of a bigger picture. They're warning signs. I've been living re-actively. It happens sometimes. When things are busier than usual. When I'm tired. 

Life feels hard. 

My normal routine is no longer serving me. It's time for a change in preference. To reach out instead of pulling away. To trust that movement can create energy. That the couch will wait for me.

I'll know I've got it right when I feel calm. When I wake up before my alarm full of energy. When life doesn't feel so hard. 

I run... (OliveToRun link up)

Did you know it's national run day? I didn't either until I read OliveToRun's blog post. 

I've decided to join in the fun and celebrate up here in Canada with my tempo run this morning. These runs always intimidate more than any other run. They are challenging but I know that my body is adapting, getting stronger and faster. 

I run for the endorphins. Endorphins make me happy. When I'm happy my day goes better. I have more patients. Little things don't stress me out. I function better at work. I have more energy to get through my day.

I run to find perspective. I can work through my projections and come to understand the other person's point of view. I meditate on oneness. I may not agree - but that's okay.

I run so I can reach my goal of finishing the SeaWheeze in under 2 hours with a smile on my face.

I run because it's good for me. Every run I'm breaking through my self imposed boundaries and becoming stronger than I ever thought possible. It's good for my well-being. It's how I take care of myself.

I run because it gets me outside. I'm happiest outdoors.

I run to create the woman I've always known I could be. Your life is not something you find, it's something you create.

Why do you run?

June no buy

Most of yesterday was spent on the couch recovering from an awful stomach bug. To distract myself I watched a couple episodes of Till Debt Do Us Part. The best part is when Gail Vaz-Oxlade lays out couple's monthly spending and we get to see where all their money goes.

"Why are you buying yourself things in life before you've earned them?" Ouch. I'm really not that irresponsible with my money... but things are still feeling tighter than I'd like after our tropical holiday in April.

Emily at Excellent Timing is challenging herself to a "no buy" June. The allowances she's given herself make the goal totally realistic without becoming a hermit for the month. 

I'm so inspired by her post I've decided to join her. I'm looking forward paying down my cc and starting a SeaWheeze fund. This month I'll be skipping all the extras and making do with what I have.

Extras I wont be buying...

1. no "superfoods" -> yes maca increases energy and balances hormones, cacao nibs are full of antioxidant that protect your cells and coconut manna is just delicious. But do you need these superfoods to live a healthy lifestyle? Nope.
2. no clothes/body products -> I've got everything I need. 
3. no magazines -> I don't usually buy magazines but lately I've been tempted by running magazines...
4. no house wears -> I will not go into Target.
5. no impulse purchases -> unless it's on the list put it back!
6. treats / junkfood -> my thighs will thank me.

But these are totally okay...

1. a hydration belt for my long runs. SeaWheeze training is starting to pick up and I have to carry water / electrolytes with me. Gus/gels/bloks are okay too. I'm trying a bunch of different brands to figure out what works.
2. food -> we eat really well. The quality and source of our food is important to us. Buying cheap food just to save a buck is not worth it to me. Oh, and wine is totally food. 
3. things we've already planned -> father's day, a weekend at the cabin, a couple dinners out with friends.

Have you ever challenged yourself to a "no buy" month? How did you make out?

week 2 - #SeaWheeze training recap

Weekly Miles: 19
#100bySummer: 79

Monday - 4 easy miles 

Real talk - I almost blew off today's run. I had intended on running before work. Buuut I stayed up super late watching Alias. Remember that show? I still love Jennifer Garner. 

Anyways, a run before work just didn't happen.  And it almost didn't happen after work either. At 7:30 it was either time to run or time for dinner. I wasn't super hungry and I knew if I didn't run I'd regret it. So glad I laced up my shoes and went for it. 

Tuesday - 45 min xtrain @140-150bpm + abs

Feels like I've got my groove back :-)

Wednesday - 4 mile easy run

My first morning run in a long time. It's been so hard for me to get up earlier enough to get out before work. I've started using the Nike+ run app and wow - my pace is all over the place. Which I don't necessarily think is a bad thing just different that what I've been doing so far. I almost always go by my hrm. I know where I want it to be - and it's really hilly here. Which is good training for the SeaWheeze.

Thursday - 3 mile easy run

post work run along the water.

Friday - REST

Had my last PT treatment today for my neck. It's been a reoccurring issue since high school so... hopefully this will take care of it?

Saturday - 4 miles

Legs felt light and quick this morning. I guess the cut back in miles is paying off :-) Left a little later that I had intended this morning. The sun was warm but the air was still a bit cool. Perfect. 

I find my shorter runs more mentally challenging than the long runs. Distance doesn't intimidate me anymore. This morning my monkey mind was full of chatter today. Long runs give me time to quiet the chatter.

I've got my pacing figured out. For awhile I was going too fast - pushing myself every time. When I started running with my phone to track my pace I was going too slow. Seems like I've found the sweet spot now.

Found a new water fountain today... it's a new appreciation. 

Sunday - vinyasa

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"Self discipline is meant to keep us on track when we encounter moments (days, weeks, months) of weakness. The weakness can come from lack of motivation, lost perspective, low energy, bad attitudes, external circumstances, you name it. Regardless of the reason, there will be moments where staying on course means doing something we would rather no do. It won’t be fun."

~ Natalie @HelloDay

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Week 3 goals

Some bad habits are sneaking their way back in. With this whole neck thing I haven't been sleeping as well and I've been putting off things like prepping my lunch the night before in favour of more couch time. It's really now working for me. Neglecting weekend meal prep results in later weekday dinners and  pre-dinner snacking. It's got to stop. I want to be lighter come race day. I want to be comfortable in my skin. These thing won't happen unless I take control.

My weekend is super busy - run, groceries, pay rent, bbq, yoga, baby shower for bestie... Somewhere in there I need have to carve out time to prep for my week. I can make it all happen ;-)

Monday - 2 easy miles
Tuesday - 45 min xtrain @140-150bpm + abs
Wednesday - 5 mile tempo run
Thursday - 2 mile easy run
Friday - REST
Saturday - 10 miles
Sunday - vinyasa

image via